"I hate everything about you/Why do I love you?/I hate everything about me/Why do I love you?" That makes a lot of sense right now... It makes a lot of sense in two ways... Family and.. well, him... I can't believe that they're both laying the guilt trip on me. It's not fair... I'm usually pretty emotionally... Eh, that'd be a lie. Let's just say that I can hold my tears in most of the time. But tonight, they just came spilling out.. I couldn't help it. I can't help it now. I'm still a bit teary. They'll start to fall again at any second, it feels like... I haven't felt this hurt in a long time, actually... Not since... Not since at least about a year or so ago... This goes right to my heart... It gives a whole new meaning to "heart attack"... Bad joke, I know. I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore... I just don't. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Gone. Done. Except for my friends... They're always the only ones who ever mattered... My friends...

This is ridiculous... I'm getting choked up. Now. Of all times, now...

I was just in the pit of doom (AKA: parents' room), and I was about to ask again about the sleepover thing tomorrow night. But the tears started coming again, almost for no reason thsi time. Damn this water... Damn this... Damn all of this...

This is taking forever... I just keep going back and forth, back adn forth, back and forth. I'm just gonna end this entry now... I'm almost going to give up.. On the verge.. Like, now....I don't know how many more times I'll ask.. One? Two? Five? Ten? Twenty? I don't know... I'll just spoil the mood tomorrow and stuff... Oyasumi..